Youthful Misgivings
by MysticHeero
Summary: Legolas, a rare maternal, is five years from passing his majority. It is not common knowledge that he is a maternal, and that gives him a freedom he wouldn’t otherwise have, but this in turn can be a dangerous thing. Rape. Violence. AU
1. Midyear's feast

**Title:** Youthful Misgivings

**Author:** MysticHeero

**Chapter:** one: Midyears feast

**Summary:** Legolas, a rare maternal, is five years from passing his majority. It is not common knowledge that he is a maternal, and that gives him a freedom he wouldn't otherwise have, but this in turn can be a dangerous thing.

**Warnings:** Mpreg. Violent ideas. Rape. AU (no mention of Sauron, though orcs are still around)

**Disclaimer:** The characters and world of LOTR are sadly not under my ownership. sobs

**Notes: Important** I know that it is implied by JRR Tolkein that when raped elves fade, but in this case they don't.

- - - - - - - - - -

The midyear celebrations were in full swing, with all of Eryn Galen getting involved. All throughout the populated areas of the woodlands, many parties were being held by the residents. In the palace a great party was echoing down the stone hallways, singing and music blending beautifully in a continuous melody.

Legolas observed his family and close friends, as few as there were, enjoying the food and company. Thranduil had even shed his usual formal robes in favour of a loose pair of leggings and baggy shirt. In these celebrations they were all equals and it was a good opportunity for the royals to throw aside prestige and appearances. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves, drinking and eating as well as dancing and singing, but Legolas had had enough for the night. As he headed for his rooms his head began to swim slightly, the floor seemingly tilting under his feet, and he vaguely thought that he must have had more to drink than he realised. His father wouldn't be pleased. Stumbling his way into his room the last prince of Eryn Galen sank down on his bed, barely able to pull of his soft boots off. He felt drained of his strength and his mind was jumbled, though all of a sudden he was aware of another presence in his room. A hand on his face made him snap his eyes open, not realising that he had closed then. His eyes widened upon meeting the green darkling orbs of the ellon in front of him.

"Dis.... Disaran?" The prince identified. "What are you...?" he was cut off however when the named ellon kissed him possessively, pushing his back down on the covers. Effectively pinned, Legolas felt fear beginning to course through him upon realisation that he was helpless. The alcohol had left him too encumbered, as had his growing fear, and he could not stop Disaran's actions. He could feel the ellon atop him unfastening his clothes, moving aside the fabric to reveal the bare skin beneath, and the prince tried vainly to struggle free. "No..!"

"Hush, my little prince. It's useless, no one will come. They're all down in the Great Hall, enjoying themselves and will continue to do so for hours yet. None will hear your cries." Disaran's voice cruelly whispered in his ear and the prince shuddered at the promise it held. He didn't want this, he couldn't allow it, but he also could not stop the other from taking what he wanted. With that horrible though came despair and a sense of doom for the prince especially when he thought f what he was.

"No.... You can't.... I'm a mat..." Again he was silenced and he felt tears welling in his eyes at his despair.

"Shhhh. Let the diaphrim work its magic in your systems Princeling and tomorrow you won't be able to piece any of this together. I will be nothing more than a blurred face in your muddled mind." The quiet words made their way through Legolas' fogged mind but he was beyond able to respond verbally as the sedative took further hold on his body. He gave a small cry of anguish at his helpless situation as he felt Disaran removing the open tunic and slipping off the unlaced leggings, to leave him bare of any covering, with tears starting to fall down his cheeks. "You truly are beautiful. Such innocence and perfection. I've been waiting for this moment for years. At last I can take what I want from you, with you so helpless and at my mercy."

Legolas knew that no one would come help him. They were all blissfully unaware of what was transpiring here. Legolas was both grateful that they were oblivious to his torment, and despairing at the though of being without help. He could feel every touch every breath against his skin, hear Disaran's efforts and movements and his mind was screaming with the knowledge of what would happen; what was happening. Praying for oblivion to take him, Legolas gave up on the hope that someone would come to his aid before Disaran had had his way, and tightly kept his eyes closed as to avoid seeing Disaran.

- - - - - - - - - -

Next Morning – Very early/Not long after dawn

- - - - - - - - -

Last night's festivities had put everyone in good spirits, and the midyear celebration was now over. Thranduil was up early as usual, seeing as business of the crown did not tend to care of festivals like this one, but he was not due in court for another six hours. He hadn't been able to sleep any longer and had instead risen and dressed with the intent of looking in on his now-grown children as he would often do when he had the time. His eldest two were still asleep, which was not surprising as it was still very early, and Thranduil let them be. He had seen them both go off to bed last night, neither wishing to remain longer at the feast, but the king wasn't worried about that. He was however curious as to when and where his youngest child was. Being both the youngest and a maternal always made Thranduil worry and fuss over him more, even his brothers were more protective of him, but Legolas knew what he was and wasn't allowed to do. Thranduil had been strict in his rules with Legolas and was glad that Legolas never went against them.

Peering into the room he saw Legolas lying in his bed, the covers seemed to be askew, though it wasn't that that bothered the king of Eryn Galen. Something seemed out of place; wrong. So he entered the room quietly, heading for the room's sole bed and found himself frowning in concern. Legolas' skin had a slightly flushed look to it, as if he was ill; his face was an expression of agony and his eyes were clamped shut and this instilled more worry in the king. Reaching out a hand to his son's forehead, Thranduil snatched it away in surprise at feeling the immense heat the skin held, but quickly moved to test the temperature of the bare shoulder, feeling the same thee as well. Rushing from the room Thranduil ran full sprint to the infirmary in search of one of the healers in residence, thankful that no one else would yet be awake as it meant the corridors were empty of hindrances.

Luckily there was a healer in the infirmary, already setting up for a day of hangover-remedies and similar ailments. Explaining briefly that something was wrong with Legolas, the pair of elves set off back to elf's room. The healer, Calamansil, immediately sat down at the bed side, placing his small satchel of medical herbs within reach and set about examining the elf. Watching on worriedly Thranduil went over the evening before in his mind, trying to recall what food and drink there was. As a maternal Legolas was more sensitive to various things, some foods proving to be poisonous for him, but those in the kitchen, and Legolas himself knew which foods he should never partake, so it was left to wonder what had befallen the youngest prince. But having partaken something poisonous for him was the only reason Thranduil could even grasp as being the cause for all this and so it was nervously the king awaited the healer's assessment.

"Well?" Was his question, when he could wait no longer for an answer.

"At the moment I can not think of any illnesses that this could be caused by. All my knowledge is coming up with is his having swallowed something." The healers were all in full knowledge of Legolas' status, for it was important in times like this, when the right action for another could be dangerous for him. The fact that the Healer shared his opinion in the cause of Legolas' current condition didn't sooth the king the slightest bit and he watched as Calamansil continued with his analysis of the prince in search of evidence to support or contradict this cause. Moving aside the bed covers to find the prince's wrist, as to check the pulse there, the healer hissed quietly as small bruises and what looked suspiciously like bite marks marked the skin in numerous places, invoking a concerned curiosity in both healer and king alike. Thranduil had a sinking feeling that something horrible had befallen his son without his even knowing. The bruising around Legolas' wrists looked suspiciously like hand marks, each finger well defined against the normally pale tone of skin, but against the slightly red tinge they clashed in a horrible array of deep purple. "We need to try and rouse him." The healer stated and swiftly moved to the opposite side of the unconscious elf, as Thranduil approached and sat on the edge of the bed. Aiding Calamansil in holding Legolas up, the king watched the healer try to wake Legolas with strong smelling herbs and inwardly rejoiced slightly at Legolas coming around, though he was semi-conscious, barely waking.

"Legolas? Legolas, no don't go back to sleep. You need to stay awake." Thranduil said, gently shaking Legolas to rouse him further.

"No..." Legolas mumbled, but it didn't seem as if he was talking to them, as it took a more defiant and hopeless tone.

"Legolas, you need to tell us what's wrong. We need to know what is causing this." Calamansil stated, using the herbs he had with him to clear Legolas' thought a little more, letting him gain more clarity and become more conscious.

"Di... Dia... phrim." Was the broken response and Thranduil's heart skipped a beat. Diaphrim was given to restrain patients when they became violent or were currently suffering a fit of some sort. It kept the par-taker conscious, but deemed him unable to move. In the case of a maternal id cause a very slow and painful death, if they were not given the correct antidote to the substance. "Drink... was... spike...d. Didn't.... know"

Thranduil though he would break at those words. Someone had done this to his son, deliberately. There was such suffering and despair in Legolas' voice that it was painful just to hear.

"How do you know?" Thranduil couldn't help but ask.

"He told... me." Legolas was beginning to shiver, despite the heat of his skin.

"Who? Who told you?" Calamansil enquired. "Legolas tell us."

"Di... Dis..." Legolas stuttered finding it hard to focus his words.

"We know about the Diaphrim. Who did this? Who drugged you? Tell, Las" Thranduil implored, using a well used epithet.

"Dis... a... ra'..." Was the disjointed response, but this time with more assertion in the words.

"Disaran." Calamansil confirmed the name as one he knew. "Legolas, do you remember what he did to you?"

"Can't this wait until he's better?" Thranduil wondered.

"No. A side effect of diaphrim is memory loss. He will not remember much of this whole thing, asides from the strongest emotions." The healer explained, and Thranduil felt his heart begin to ache.

"Ada?" Came a slightly fearful voice at the door. Looking over the king saw his eldest son and crown prince, Lorthoniel, who was watching the small scene will ill-disguised worry. "What's wrong?"

"We think some one attacked Legolas." Thranduil stated with an unsteady voice. "He's been drugged with diaphrim, but we don't know how badly he's hurt." The king was starting to lose his resolve and, his worry was growing more evident in his voice. The crown prince hurried over to where his father was and he could now clearly see the state that Legolas was in, letting out a small cry of dismay.

"Who would do this? Why?"

"I do not think it was intentional to poison him." Calamansil voiced his thoughts quickly mixing some crushed herbs with some water from the bedside pitcher. "Not many know he is a maternal after all. Though they definitely had the intent of harming him, or they would not have felt the need to restrain him with diaphrim."

"How... To what extent was he ... harmed?" Thranduil nearly choked on the words, not wanting his fears to be true.

"I am not yet sure. First I need to clear the diaphrim out of his system." Tipping the cup to Legolas' lips he gently massaged the prince's throat to encourage him to swallow the herbal water, and was rewarded by the cup being returned to the bedside table empty. The effects were not immediate, but after a tense few minutes Legolas began to react positively, his skin cooling quite rapidly though the flushed tinge remained. Legolas stilled in his shivering and slight movements, resting as Calamansil had explained and the king ushered his eldest out the room, to leave Calamansil to fully examine Legolas.

"Rouse your brother, and fill him in. Then go and sit with Legolas after Calamansil has finished. Tell him to come find me. I don't want to leave Legolas alone. I'm going to go deal with Disaran, but I want this kept quiet for now. I don't want anyone knowing that Disaran has done anything to Legolas, just assaulted an elf in his minority."

"Yes Adar." With that they both went their separate ways.

- - - - - - - - -

It was a long four hours later when Thranduil was able to go and check on Legolas, pleased to see him manage a smile for his father, even if it was sad. Calamansil had explained everything he had learned of Legolas' condition to the king and Thranduil had been appalled by Disaran's actions. Even if the guilty ellon had no idea that Legolas was a maternal; as this information was always kept secret until the elf reached their majority, Disaran had still committed a horrendous crime in taking an elf in their minority to bed. What was worse was the fact that the act had been forced upon the younger ellon. News had spread around the palace that Disaran had been arrested on these crimes, and with the palace now awake and full of activity it was harder for Thranduil to go see his youngest son without suspicion being aroused.

Within the last hour Thranduil had been repeatedly pulled aside by various elves, each with their own accusation of rape of their children, but the reason they had not said anything before was the fact that the victims had not been able to recall their attacker afterwards, asides from some indistinct feature that was very little help. These cases had been brought to council as well, and Thranduil had given each of the victims and their families the same rights of privacy he had given his own son, understanding that naming any victims would only cause more problems for those trying to forget their defilement. So when he had finally been able to slip away and see Legolas, much had happened. The council were currently debating the extent of punishment and when it was to be carried out, and Thranduil knew that nothing short of death would be given to Disaran.

"How do you feel?"

"Tired." Legolas said, his voice holding much emotion and pain.

"Calamansil said that will ease off soon. As well as the headache." Thranduil knew that Legolas was aware of what had transpired; neither his brothers nor Calamansil wouldn't have kept that from him as it was his right to know. "Disaran will be sentenced later today. It seems you are not his first victim. I've had a few others approach me privately with their own stories. Though they can not defiantly say that it was him who caused them harm. They do not remember, as you can not. But it will go against him as charges." Thranduil explained, in a soft voice as he sat on the bed beside his youngest.

"Did Calamansil tell you about...?" Legolas trailed of, ducking his head from view as his hair fell like a curtain to hide his face. Thranduil sighed; he had known that this would come up, but had hoped to avoid the discussion until Legolas was better and completely over the last remaining effects of the diaphrim.

"Yes. It'll be alright Las. We'll find a solution."

"Like what? I'm pregnant with the child of the ellon who raped me!" Legolas nearly shouted, luckily managing to keep his voice down, before continuing on in a whisper. "How can things be alright?" Not knowing what else to do, Thranduil simply pulled his youngest to him gently and held him as the other began to shake and cry. The elder two princes moved to hug their little brother as well, meeting their father in the eye in a silent communication of worry.


	2. Problems and Solutions

**Title:** Youthful Misgivings

**Author:** MysticHeero

**Chapter:** two: Problems and Solutions

**Warnings:** MPreg.

- - - - - - - - - - -

The guilty elf, Disaran, had been executed at dawn and the entire palace, though sad at the though of killing their own, was relieved that he would no longer be able to harm another elf. It also eased the king's mind, knowing his son's tormentor no long had the ability to harm his child.

Thranduil, however, was still worried about his youngest son. Legolas seemed to be growing more and more subdued every day, not that the woodland king blamed him. After all that had happened Legolas was indeed coping better than could be expected but it was still worrying. Talking with Calamansil earlier, not long after midday, Thranduil had explained who knew of Legolas' condition and they had discussed the predicament. So far only a small group, consisting of Thranduil, is sons, two healers and a guard, knew of Legolas' rape and pregnancy, and for that Thranduil had been pleased. If they continued along these lines then Legolas would be able to live a relatively normal life without fear of people treating him differently because of what Disaran had done. But the fact still remained that Legolas was pregnant and was five years from his majority. There were reasons as to why such strict laws had been made about elves under their majority, most especially maternals. Though a maternal came into full maturity between the ages of forty three and forty seven, their bodies were not yet able to cope with the mental and physical strain of carrying a child. Calamansil had informed Thranduil that though Legolas would not carry the child to full term, he would probably last until a late period. This had been bad news for Thranduil to hear and it was made worse by the fact that abortion was not an option. Normally abortion was seen as wrong and against the steadfast beliefs of elves, except in extreme conditions, such as the pregnant elf was unable to bear the child with out their own death, but as Legolas was a maternal – an under age one at that – abortion would do great harm if not cause death.

With every passing sunrise, Thranduil's heart grew heavier with despair for Legolas. His last child had already been through so much, what with never having known his mother and growing up in such a dangerous place like Eryn Galen, and dealing with the loss of most of the few friends he had had. Now with Disaran's crime against Legolas, Thranduil feared the effects it would all have on his son. But Legolas was strong, and despite the lack of years, the younger blonde was definitely very mature. This had always made Thranduil proud, though he usually wished that Legolas' older brothers would also behave so mature.

At this moment the middle prince, Tondar, was trying to keep Legolas occupied, while Thranduil and his eldest attempted to find some sort of solution for Legolas. All this morning they had come up with nothing that didn't involve Legolas' condition becoming public knowledge and that wasn't acceptable in the views of the royal family. Calamansil had been taken into council over the idea and the healer had provided an idea, even if it was unintentional. While in Eryn Galen, Legolas would not have the full attention he needed during his pregnancy as they only had basic knowledge of maternals, which could prove dangerous, and he would also not be able to hide his situation for very long after he started showing in just short of three months. Thranduil wouldn't settle for anything short of the best for Legolas, especially at a time like this, and Thranduil had just come back from his private study where he had been mind-speaking with Elrond. Knocking softly on Legolas' door, Thranduil waited until he heard the soft call to enter before making his way inside. He saw his two sons sitting beside one another on the soft divan, Legolas dressed in a high collar tunic with long sleeves, as was his habit of late. The effects of the diaphrim had worn off completely now, but it had proven to make all of Legolas' bruises and marks become more visible against his pale skin hue. Anyone could see the hand prints and bite marks in detail where Disaran had forcefully restrained the younger elf and tortured him and is was painful just to look at. Thranduil had caught Legolas staring at his clothed arms, as if looking through the fabric, at the places where there was a bruise or bite mark, and he knew that Legolas was seeing what he could recall from that night. At night he relived it in his dreams, though he hadn't said a word, but his family knew. They would hold him while he was only partially awake, still trapped in his nightmares, and sooth him while he shuddered in their arms.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you." Thranduil spoke, as he approached the divan beside the balcony, and was very much relieved to see Legolas smile back, even if it wasn't up to its usual vibrance. Tondar also smiled, a secretive glance to his father portraying his own relief.

"No." Legolas' voice was quiet but sounded a lot more alive than this morning. Sitting in the chair opposite the divan his sons were seated on, Thranduil decided to get to the point.

"I've been conversing with Elrond, and we have come to a decision regarding this whole matter." He waited for Legolas to nod his understanding before continuing. "We would not be able to keep your pregnancy hidden here and Elrond has agreed that you would receive the best possible care in Imladris."

"You're sending me away." Legolas had spoken the words Thranduil had feared, and his heart ached at the desolation that coloured the prince's voice.

"No Las. That was not how I intended you to take this. I wish I could keep you by my side, but the fact of the matter is that we can not keep this hidden here." Thranduil had moved off the chair to crouch in front of his youngest, grasping the smaller hands and meeting the sorrow filled eyes. "I would never abandon you, no matter what. I only wish for what is best for you and your health." Legolas simply nodded in silence, not sure what to say or do.

"Las?" Tondar nudged in on his thoughts.

"When... When do I leave?"

"Tomorrow morn. I know it's soon but Selinyar's small company leave then and the will escort you to Imladris. Everyone here will be told that you have gone with them on your novice trip." The king explained. "After this is all over, and Elrond releases you from his care, you will continue on with Selinyar's group so that you do actually have your novice trip."

"Then they know?" Legolas enquired sounding slightly disappointed.

"Yes. Selinyar already knew; he was with me when we arrested Disaran, but has agreed to keep it secret. Only the other three members of his small group will know anything and Selinyar has assured me that they are to be trusted to keep this a secret. All they have been told is that Disaran had attacked you, no more, and that you are going to Imladris to recover. They will accompany you as far as the border of Imladris where Glorfindel will meet you."

"Alright." Legolas nodded and Thranduil stood.

"There are still details to be sorted out and arrangements to be made, but I will see you later. Are you going to join us for evening meal?" Legolas looked up to meet his father's eyes and saw the imploring in his eyes. Looking to his older brother Legolas saw the same thing and sighed.

"Yes." He hadn't gone to either of the meals today, instead eating in his chamber; his family giving the excuse that he was busy with his private studies and one of the brothers would bring him something to eat, joking that without their thoughtfulness Legolas would completely forget to eat. It was well known that when Legolas did something he usually bypassed everything else in order to finish it. He hated leaving things half done, and for once Thranduil was actually glad of this as it gave a plausible excuse for is youngest's absence. Though according to his sons Legolas would hardly touch what he was brought, instead merely stirring it around the plate absently, his thoughts clearly elsewhere on darker topics.

"I'll see you at supper then." Thranduil stood and left, intending on sorting through the last details soonest with his eldest son. The sooner it was sorted, the sooner he could properly talk to Legolas and be there for him. The confusion over the last few days had prevented Thranduil from really spending any proper time alone with Legolas and it hurt the King to know what the youngest prince was most likely going through.

- - - - - - - - - -

The next morning arrived all too quickly for Thranduil and Legolas. At dawn it found a small number of elves rising and preparing to leave, checking that they had everything they would need before they left a hour later. For the Royal family, it had been a sad time, with them spending the hour in Legolas' rooms making sure that everything was arranged and that Legolas had something to eat. The youngest elf was not outwardly showing his nervousness, or in fact showing much outward expression at all, but his brothers and father knew that inside it was a different matter. The last prince of Eryn Galen had sustained his near complete silent demeanour and not even his family could get him to say more that a few sentences at a time. They had said goodbye in private, not wanting Legolas to feel more uncomfortable around the elves he would be travelling with for the next week or so. Thranduil had been able to find very few words for his son, but instead spent a long time just holding him close as his son had accepted the support silently.

It had been a quiet party that had ridden out of the Palace grounds that morning, and now they were eight days into the journey. Legolas was still quiet, but as long as he wasn't given chance to dwell on his thoughts he was practically his normal self; laughing at and making his own jokes. The other elves respectively kept clear of the subject regarding Disaran and Legolas' current condition due to the named elf, and for that Legolas was eternally grateful. The long week of travelling had been tiring on them all, as it had more often than not rained; the heaviest rainfall in the mountains where it rose to add to the humid air. They had left the passes two days ago and their pace had picked up being on the flats again. Rivendell lay ahead of them, though cloaked by the Elven magic that resided within, and Legolas felt his heart beginning to drop again. He had managed to at least push back the depressing thoughts from his mind while travelling with Selinyar's group, as he had been swept up in the thrill of his first trip out side of Eryn Galen. Now, however, with his destination nearing he found the shadowing thoughts creeping back into his mind. They would be inside the Vale in less than an hour, and the youngest elf of the group wasn't sure how he should feel. Once inside the borders Legolas would be stripped of any distractions that his current travelling had provided. Nudging his horse forward again, without having realised he had actually halted, Legolas sighed to himself, while trying to shake the thoughts from his mind.

- - - - - - - - - -

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Review Responses.

**NienneVala:** Hey thanks for the review, I'm really glad that you like it.

**Haldir's Heart and Soul:** I'm glad that you liked the first chapter. Sadly this second one isn't as interesting or even quite as good, but it was the best I could get it. Next chapter will have more in it hopefully, and it revolves around Legolas mainly, though Elrond and Glorfindel play a big part.

**Empath89:** No I don't think there are any slash pairings in this fic. WAIT I tell a lie, duh smacks head there is a lovely little Elrond/Glorfindel bit, though there are continuous references to it all the time. Hope that settles you for now. There definitely are in the sequel. Believe it or not I've actually written the first chappy of the sequel but I can't post it because it will give this fic away.

**Toby7:** Sorry but no Aragorn pairings in this one. As for Legolas….. I won't give it away, though I'll tell you that he has no pairing in this one – he does in the sequel though.

**MoroTheWolfGod:** Hey we have a princess mononoke fan – one of my first animes, out of my huge resource now. Anyway thank you for your lovely review. Very short. But I can take a hint when it's that obvious.

**Sponge:** Thanks Phil. I am looking forward to reading more of your interesting ficcies. Remember KILL PHILL at all costs.

**ScottyLass:** Finally you bint. How could you forget. sulks

**Carol T:** Thank you for the review, I'm trying to write up as many of the chapters as possible. I now own a laptop, though the internet is limited on it, and so writing things up is sooo much faster now.

**Arch-Nemisis:** That was short but straight to the point. Will try to be fast with updates. My exams are nearly over now – just one left.


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